Pa-Ulok Lamang Ki Diit.....

[Eustaquia]

Uses for Vaseline...

A woman answers the door to a market researcher.

"Good morning madam, I'm doing some
research for Vaseline.

Do you use it at all in your household?"

"Oh yes, all the time.
It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."

"Do you use it for anything else?"

"Well....."

"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."

Well madam, I am astonished with your honesty.

Out of all the people who have completed our research questionnaire, you are first to admit using it for sex.



Would you mind explaining for me, how you use it during sex?

"Oh, why of course.
It is quite simple really,..
the first thing we do is lock the door.

Then we just smear it all over the bedroom doorknob,
this way the kids can't get in."

[Eustaquia]

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you
promise not to touch any of the buttons on the
wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he
noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP,
and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.


Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA
button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently
drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large
powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile
scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a
restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew
would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a
hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I
remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.
Your thingy is under your pillow."

MEN NEVER LISTEN

[Malen]

TIME OFF


Two factory workers were talking....

"I know how to get some time off from work," said the man.

"How do you think you will do that?" asked the other one.

He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down.

The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling and asked him what on earth he was doing?

"I'm a light bulb," answered the guy.

"I think you need some time off," said the boss.

So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory.

The second worker began walking out too. The boss asked her where did she think she was going?

"Home. I can't work in the dark."